Before you ask... yes I said it. We were playing around, and it just rolled right out of my mouth... A little voice inside myself said.."Are you stupid or what?" However, The Man just smiled...
He has worked very, very hard this week to take care of some things that needed to be done. He has not pushed me, but he has been here. He has been very affectionate with me, touching, hugging, caressing.. It has been difficult at times. It is very uncomfortable to be touched and snuggled when the walls are up. It's almost painful, but slowly, things have gotten easier.
We had a family get together for Easter, and he and I were sending naughty messages back and forth.. We were both looking forward to playing then.. he began caressing, and then a deep massage because my muscles were screaming with tension and I drifted off to sleep.. He was prepared and happy with just snuggling, but there in that moment... my heart longed to reconnect with him, and he loved me slowly and sweetly and it was amazing, and somehow, in that moment of meeting my needs... the ache eased and I could breathe again.
We are working through things. I am often timid and he is often at a loss, but we are getting there.