I know that I am not required to call you Sir but I do so out of respect, especially when I know we are in a punishment time. Yes, I have had three weeks to think about the mistakes that I made. I can honestly say I have not stressed about it. Am I anxious? Yes. Am I looking forward to the punishment? Not really. Will I be glad for the reconnection? Yes.
My concerns are different from times in the past when I knew that punishment was looming on the horizon. In times past, my fear revolved around the pain. That it would hurt more than I could stand. Or that the PTSD monster would rear it's ugly head and make a mess of something meant to restore and reconnect.
This time, there is none of that. This time, I am aware and totally agree that what I did was so very wrong on so many levels. My heart longs to make amends and be free of the guilt that I feel. I desire to reconnect the line that I broke with deceit and disrespect of you and our relationship. In my heart, I feel like this warrants a very intense spanking and I fear that I won't be able to submit or that I will do something or say something that causes you not to provide me with the level of correction I feel is necessary to make this right in my heart and between us.
You are my heart and I love you so very much.