Monday, December 29, 2014

All Up In The Air...... Including my Bottom..

Dear Sir,

I know that I am not required to call you Sir but I do so out of respect, especially when I know we are in a punishment time.  Yes, I have had three weeks to think about the mistakes that I made.  I can honestly say I have not stressed about it.  Am I anxious?  Yes.  Am I looking forward to the punishment?  Not really.  Will I be glad for the reconnection?  Yes.

My concerns are different from times in the past when I knew that punishment was looming on the horizon.  In times past, my fear revolved around the pain.  That it would hurt more than I could stand.  Or that the PTSD monster would rear it's ugly head and make a mess of something meant to restore and reconnect.

This time, there is none of that.  This time, I am aware and totally agree that what I did was so very wrong on so many levels.  My heart longs to make amends and be free of the guilt that I feel.  I desire to reconnect the line that I broke with deceit and disrespect of you and our relationship.  In my heart, I feel like this warrants a very intense spanking and I fear that I won't be able to submit or that I will do something or say something that causes you not to provide me with the level of correction I feel is necessary to make this right in my heart and between us.

You are my heart and I love you so very much.
Dana

4 comments:

  1. What a lovely and loving letter Dana. I am sure the Man will help you to submit and he will provide exactly what you need...as he always has. I am so very proud of you my friend.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Thanks my friend. It is hard and I'm not looking forward to it, but he is good and he is kind

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  2. Wow! You sure do express exactly how I have felt. Great letter. I just love reading your blog and feeling so connected to what you feel.

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    1. Thanks Blondie. It has been quite a journey to get here. I am not looking forward to what is to come, but as he said so kindly this morning... I am not without mercy. And he means it

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