I have read many posts where the writer was trying to process something and have to admit that I have learned many things and gained great incite into my own feelings and struggles through others. I have appreciated those times and appreciated the openness and honesty with which it was done.
That being said, I don't promise great incite, and am probably looking for more answers that giving them.
It took me a long time to "come out" so to speak, and it happened in levels. As I have said before, I am the one that brought this lifestyle to our relationship, and The Man has grown by leaps and bounds as have I.
For us, it started out as more of an erotic thing, and then I was slowly able to tell him that I needed the structure and safety of him being in charge, holding me accountable, etc.
My hardest struggle was not having anyone to talk to about my inner struggles. I am a strong woman and it felt, well strange, unhealthy (plug in whatever word fits for you) and as a woman who had been abused as a child and in her first marriage, I was frankly terrified that even after all the professional help I had received that I was permanently broken. (It's nice to know I'm not btw)
Then, The Man being who he is, found blogland, Bonnie's My Bottom Smarts in particular, and I was so relieved, and then I found several others, and got to know some of the members here. There was an environment of acceptance here. It didn't matter if you were DD or BDSM, or TTWD or whatever alphabet or mixture. It was so cool and refreshing, and I so needed it. We are as June used to say, a little bit of everything, and that was okay...
Only, I have begun to notice in my reading a bit of a turning these days. I can understand that you may not understand my enjoyment of spanking, my need for it, that it is in many facets of our life. I get that. I get that it may do nothing for you. I get that it is only used in your relationship for corrective action so to speak, and if it works for you. That is awesome. I don't understand this very subtle, slight.. this vague feeling of disapproval. This feeling that because there is enjoyment that "we" are not I don't want to say worthy, but not in the same "class" for lack of a better term.
In whatever facet, we all practice this lifestyle, the one thing we should have in common is acceptance. I don't have to agree with everything in your lifestyle to accept. As long as it's consensual, it's not damaging, then it is between you and your mate, or it should be. I had my first experience of reading something here on blogland and feeling judged and it wasn't a pleasant feeling.