K is for Kinky... Yeah... Took me a very long time to come out of the closet so to speak.. Well, just on here, (chile' please, did you think I meant in public?) Yes, I am very, happy, excited and thrilled that we love a spicey sex life. Oh, we love the tender, the sweet, the lovin.. but, Hello... there is nothing wrong with hot monkey sex... mmm Yes, yes.. love it, and love The Man for enjoying the journey with me. Yet, let me say, no matter how hot, how sexy or kinky, I always feel loved and cherished...
L is for... Loyalty. Loyalty.. Yes, that need to be in someone's corner, never letting them feel betrayed. Always having their best interest at heart. Putting other's feeling above your own. A commitment to be the best for the other person. Never allowing hurts to be unresolved. Wanting to encourage that person, love them, let them know that if all others fall away, you will be there. That is what The Man does for me.
M is for Make believe. Make believe is when you dream of something, that you want something so desperately, that you make it yourself believe something that isn't true. You can create a world that doesn't exist, a relationship that isn't true. I have done this with my family. I so desperately wanted to believe I mattered, that I was loved for me. Today, left me with not doubt as to what is true. My brother told me flat out that he didn't have time for a relationship with me, nor was he interested in making that time. My mother once again engineered a situation where I was made to bend, and change family plans to accommodate her and my brother. She lied to me and both made me understand that in their eyes I had no rights to me feelings. It is very hard to realize that you have been playing make believe for most of your life. Yes, it hurts, but at least I know it's nothing I've done. It's just that I will never measure up in their eyes. I will never be loved the same as my brother. I will never measure up. I will never be good enough, be enough, or do enough to rise to the level of the golden child.
On a completely unrelated note, my inlaws have been perfectly delightful. Yes there has been so very stressful, awkward moments, but they have been very kind to me.