Saturday, May 31, 2014

Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster

I have been meaning to post.  I just haven't quite known what to say.  I am working through a lot of emotions and that is just messy.  There is something to be said for numb, reserved, and calm...

No, not everything that has been going on in my life in the last two weeks has been bad.  But I find I don't do well with extreme emotions.  I like things.. well, peaceful, calm, you get the idea..

So, on this roller coaster of emotions, I have my dad who has been in the hospital again.  His need for oxygen is increasing as his unwillingness to increase his use.  When did my Daddy get so fragile?   When did he become afraid to sleep alone?  When did he start to look so sad?

I have three graduations back to back.  A young lady I have worked with for 8 years graduated today and I was humbled for her to publically recognize me during graduation.  My nephew will graduate next week and then, my son will graduate the next.  He will leave for basic training, and he is my third to leave my home, and well, guess what?  It doesn't get any easier.

My inlaws are coming.  I haven't seen them in 6 years.  Quite frankly, they hate me.  They hate my daughter, and have worked tirelessly to damage our marriage.  The Man has taken steps to rectify that, but I still live in fear.  They are sneaky and manipulative and I will never be good enough for them and it hurts me.  They will be here for a week.  I think I am going to have a perpetual red bottom just to manage the stress.  My fear is that I won't be able to accept them or that I will be resentful.  Stress relief spanking is one thing.  I honestly don't know that I can handle to be punished in reference to them.

I am so resentful of my brother and I feel petty for it.  He wants nothing to do with me.  He can't be bothered with my folks unless he can arrange his schedule (like daddy can schedule his sickness)  Then he is allowed to have discussions about health concerns with my dad and mom without me.  Am I wrong to feel resentful?  Am I wrong to feel that I am being left out when he breezes through for the weekend and becomes the "one".  Logic says use the time he is there to your advantage, but I fear he is going to be disrespectful to my mom and dad..  I know how he speaks about them, how will he speak to them?

And.. the big news..  I have a friend.. a dd friend.  I won't say where I met her, but we are friends, and after a couple of interesting slips, we laid our cards on the table.  It's really cool to have someone that knows, knows me, understands, and still respects me and doesn't look at The Man as a monster. 

And... Cat, thanks for checking on me.  Your friendship means the world to me...

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

NEVER underestimate a GEEK!!!

We had a wonderful adventure in Louisiana..  We went to the Zoo, and visited a Sugar Plantation that was stunning..  and went to New Orleans, The French Quarter and Bourbon Street...

I had 5 days of The Man all to myself.  It was glorious.  We laughed, we talked, we were silly, and I was the sole focus of The Man's attention..  OMG...  whew.. anywho...

I can honestly say I had an Orgasm on Bourbon Street...  (you ALL are so naughty) There was a nice gal on the street corner (again... get your mind out of the gutter... hehehe) who was selling test tubes of shots.  She put two together and called it an Orgasm.  Yeah, it was yummy...

So, on the way home, The Man was listening to a book that was talking about scientists and apparently they were quarrelling amongst themselves, and he said..."Oh MY God, they are a bunch of whiney bitches..."  Now, let me stop here and remind you all that I live in a house full of Geeks.  They tease me with it, torment me with over my head conversations, technology and gadgets till my eyes feel like they may bleed.. So, when I had the opportunity... I took it. 

I didn't even look up from my book as I said, so sweetly, "Almost all Geeks are." CHA- CHING!!!  I watched it register on his face what I said..  He tickled me, threatened retribution, and I laughed and laughed...

Flash forward to Tuesday, as I am in the spanking position (GG) and we are having our last night together before he has to leave...  and he is punctuating every stroke with...  WHACK (Almost) WHACK (all) WHACK (Geeks) WHACK (are)...  He left me in no doubt as to whether My Geek can swing a paddle..  And it was wonderful..

He left today, and I am wearing his tshirt because it smells like him.  It's almost one am and I can't sleep.  The bed is too big, and I miss his warmth, and his arms as I drift to sleep.  I miss the last thing I hear before I drift off to sleep, being... I love you little girl... so very much..

Sunday, May 4, 2014

It's a Boy... It's a Girl... well, there are 5 of them....

Yup.. Yup...  My new Baby had babies today.  We were not expecting them this soon.  I am so glad The man was here.  OMG!!!  We were so worried for her because she had been so mistreated, and was skin and bones when we got her two weeks ago.  Well, she did great, and so did we.  The Man was so calm.  I love that about him.  He never gets stressed ( or at least he doesn't let it show) and he was so good with her, and with me.

Aren't they amazing
So, that is our excitement for like the week.  We are headed to New Orleans on Wednesday and we are really excited about that.