Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Who Was That?

Have you ever had something happen and as you reacted to it, you felt like you were outside yourself watching?  (No, I am not going crazy, well not from this anyway)
Well boy howdy...  Anyone who has read my blog, knows that things with my mother can sometimes be complicated..  So.. let me give you the recipe for the tornado that happened Sunday.

1 part bipolar mother off of her meds for 3 weeks
1 part daddy who has been terribly sick and still feels bad
1 part daughter who had a terrible week
1 part granddaughter who expressed her opinion
3parts watching bipolar mother be hateful and ugly to sick daddy

When you least expect it, bipolar mother is hateful and ugly to the tired daughter over granddaughter (who happens to be MY daughter).   Daughter (me) tries to leave when the wind picks up.  And as is the way with tornadoes......

I literally felt like I was watching myself explain to my mother in no uncertain terms that I wasn't doing it the same way we had before, and that I wasn't going to stand by and watch her be mean to my Daddy ever again, or listen to 40 years of done me wrong, and really I don't remember everything I said other than the magic words in my family that signal that things are really bad....

I AM DONE!!!!!!!
You could have heard a pin drop.  I am so sorry that I upset Daddy, but I am not sorry for what I said.  I wasn't disrespectful, but I meant it.  I guess everyone realized I meant it.  My Mother came to my house and apologized.  I had cried all the way home, but was in better shape by the time Mother got to my house.  I love my folks.  I truly do, but I refuse to do the bipolar spiral the same way again.
Wish me luck..  Oh.. and The Man was really proud of me...
AND... as a side note, I got the TPR in court today that the little girl really needed.  


  1. Good for you Dana! Sorry it was so stressful & that your father was upset, but good job breaking a bad cycle & staying respectful while doing it!!
    Scarlet ; )

    1. Thanks Scarlet.. I am telling you what.. It just over came me... and I was shocked... but I feel so much better...

  2. Well color me shocked and super proud girlfriend! Happy you feel better. I truly wish your momma would go back on her meds.

    Congrats on getting the TPR!

    Sending lots of prayers and healing energy for your daddy.

    Hugs and Blessings...

    1. I know right? I was shocked too.. I just hate I upset Daddy.. but I was so mad that she was ugly to him that by the time she got around to me.. I was.. loaded for bear.

  3. I'm proud of you little girl. You have so much going on and you are managing so well.
    I love you.

    1. Oh.. Wow... You just don't know how much that means to me. I love you so much!!! I am trying, really trying..

  4. Oh goodness. Did your heart feel like it was going to pound right out of you? I have had those kinds of moments too. It's so scary to say things that need to be said but also liberating.

    ((hugs)) and congrats on the TPR.

    sara :)

    1. Sara,
      How did you know? It felt like my heart was going to explode in my chest!!! My head was light, but it didn't seem to have any affect on my mouth.. It was working just fine...