Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Thinking Spot..

I read several different blogs.  Some are strictly DD lifestyle, some are D/s, some are TTWD, and some are like us, a little bit of everything.  The one thing I have always appreciated and loved is that I can come here, share ideas, share my victories, sorrows, frustrations, and bumps in the road of life.  Not always about this lifestyle, but about life.

We may not always agree with one another, but we do our best to honor and respect the choices that we make.  I am glad to see that when there are concerns that someone may not be in the best situation, that it is addressed with kindness, and concern but addressed all the same.  The discussions can some times get heated, but those of us who are truly walking the walk, do our best to treat one another with the respect our HOH type people would expect.

That being said, it never ceases to amaze me that there are people who come to our blogs, who seem to not agree with this lifestyle.  They view spanking to be abusive, or punishment, or any facet of this life.  It is not as if we solicit these folks to come and stay and criticize our life and poke fun.  Disagreeing with something in the lifestyle YOU are living is very different than passing judgment on a way of life you have no interest in and are vehemently opposed.  It is their right to not agree.  It is their right to refuse to ever enter into this way of life.

That being said, it is also our right to live a lifestyle that we have agreed to, (many of us brought this to our husbands).  We have the right to live within a structure that causes our relationship to grow and deepen and intimacy to flourish.  We have the right to feel cherished and loved and protected.

I can speak to this personally.  Having been in a relationship that was abusive, harmful and destructive, where it nearly destroyed my self esteem and left little of myself unscathed, what I have now is nothing like this.  I am loved, cherished, protected, valued, and cared for. 

When I stumble on a blog that I don't agree with, don't feel good about, but it's obvious that the person is living their life the way they want, I don't criticize, I simply move on to a blog that is more like minded.  WE don't have to all agree.  I expect folks not to agree with everything I say.  I also don't expect to be made to feel like there is something wrong with me that I need to be saved from myself or my husband.  Do I always like being spanked?  Nope, I don't.  However, I do love how this tool has helped our marriage be stronger and grow deeper into the intimacy I crave.

19 comments:

  1. Great post, Dana. You make excellent points. I, too, was in a relationship (my first marriage) that was abusive, and, like you, am blessed to be married to a man who loves, cherishes, protects, values, and cares for me.

    Sadie

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    1. Thanks Sadie!! I just get weary of having to justify what works for us.

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  2. Exactly what Renee said...well said! :)

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    1. Thanks Tess.. So glad to see you back!!

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  3. Hi Dana,
    I am new to your blog but I have seen your comments on some of the other ones that I have been reading, I just wanted to say great post! I have not yet gotten my nerve up to start my own blog but I agree with you 100%. If you want to read about a lifestyle you do not agree with that's fine, but if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Someone who is sharing from the heart about what works for them should NOT have to be bombarded with negative or even with "helpful" commenters who are trying to make them see that they are not living the "right way". You really did a nice job making your point-I look forward to going back and reading through your prior posts.
    Scarlet ; )

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    1. HI!!! and welcome. I have seen you too. I am so glad you stopped by, and thanks for the kind words.

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  4. HI , I am new to your blog but oh my goodness I agree with you. There are some people I wish would simply go away and read something else!
    Jan.xx

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    1. Amen Sista!! And welcome, so glad you came by. It's not like there isn't a lot of other blogs to read....

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  5. Thank you for this, Dana. I agree with you. The Duke actually wrote something very similar back in a comment yesterday that we got. That we were a spanking blog, and that if they didn't agree with us, they could probably find other blogs about marriage that did not talk about spanking. Thank you for sharing this.

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

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  6. Amen Sistah! Still don't understand why they come around...think it's either because they secretly want this lifestyle or feel so badly about themselves that they have to find someone to put down to make themselves feel better.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Little of both? I dunno.. We are an understanding, tolerant bunch. I just get weary of the need to poke at something you don't understand..

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  7. It is odd Dana...the ones who come and continue to come. Obviously they are curious and can't seem to keep quiet. I wonder sometimes if they criticize while at the same time they are trying to work it all out in their heads.

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    1. Either that, or they long for the kind of relationship we have. The closeness, the intimacy and don't want to do the work...

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  8. Thank you for writing this Dana, I just find it so odd! I don't know what people don't understand about consensual!

    I'm so glad your husband is home for awhile, enjoy the time together :)

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    1. Thanks!!! And I so agree with you. Most of us women brought this to their husbands, because we felt so out of control, and unprotected...

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  9. Well said. I completely agree!

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