Sunday, February 2, 2014

Round and Round...

Have you ever had a time where your thoughts go round and round.  What your mind knows, what experience knows wars with what your heart feels?  It is a very uncomfortable thing.  It truly is.

The Man made a statement today that was very hurtful to me.  I wanted to defend myself and I did.  Now, he is very tired, not sleeping well, and there is a good bit of personal drama(not us, but touching us)  and we are apart.  He apologized, said he was tired, but then brought up something else.

The conversation made me feel like he feels I don't take care of the things he has provided for me.  I'm not a needy person.  I love the gifts he has given me and the home he has provided, and well I'm hurt.  There are many things I wanted to say.  Many things I want to bring to bear, but they are not productive and I feel would be hurtful, so I didn't.

Am I the only one that feels so not vindicated, or that there is a BIG but to this statement, "You take better care of my stuff than I do... most of the time."  I feel damned by faint praise. 

It was over something that was intended as a birthday present.  Something I have wanted for a long time, and now, I don't want it.  I'm getting it, and feel like the joy has been taken right out of it. 

I know this man loves me very much, he is human like me, this is not a normal thing.  It doesn't change that I am hurt.  I am in a quandary for what to do to make it better.  He made it pretty clear it was a closed subject.  I did however, ask that we not call it a birthday present.  Since he made mention of the fact that it was very pricey, I offered to simply return it.

I just really don't know what to do.

8 comments:

  1. Dang Dana...The original statement was hurtful...the second statement would have been lovely if he hadn't added the "...most of the time" rider to it.

    As far as the gift goes...I understand your hurt but try to put the words from the first statement and latter half of the second statement out of your mind and take joy in the loving intentions behind the gift.

    I truly believe he did not mean those words in any way shape or form...not the Man. Hopefully, after reading this (and I'm sure he will), he will understand your hurt.

    Sending lots of prayers, healing energy and positive thoughts for both of you.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. I'm over it.. It took me a few days...

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  2. OH Sweetie, it's amazing how their words can completely attack us and cut us down, isn't it? The Duke and I are working on this, and I'm learning the things that tend to hurt me the most, are the things the Duke never meant as mean at all. I am sure that the same goes for your man. {{{{hugs}}}} His gift is given to you out of love, that is why it is expensive. He wanted to show you your worth, he wanted to do something for you that was a sacrifice to him, so that it wouldn't be easy and therefore would make the gift all the more special for how hard he worked to get it for you, but that is HOW MUCH you mean to him. :) I hope you will be able to enjoy the gift when it is there, and that the hurt from those words will simply fade away.

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

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    1. I know.. I know he didn't mean it.. but it hurt my feelings.. I worked through it..

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  3. Aww, Dana. I'm sorry you're hurting and that it seems like such a difficult subject to talk out and work out. Keep trying to communicate. I know he said it was a closed subject, but maybe if you approach him and let him know you're feeling really uneasy about it and would appreciate being able to calmy discuss it? I hope things work out soon! Sending hugs!

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    1. Oh Kenzie. You are such a sweetheart. He really hurt my feelings and that doesn't happen often. It took me a few days, but I let it go.

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  4. Hi Dana,

    It's amazing how hurt we can get from one simple sentence from our men. It's also amazing the amount of times they won't mean to hurt us or we take those sentences and hear them differently than intended. I wouldn't push away a gift you truly want out of hurt that he probably didn't intend.. In the long run once you both work through this rough patch the gift will still have meaning. :0) Hope you resolve this very quickly and move on to the madly happy and enjoying your gift moment!

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    1. Irish,

      You are so right. I am well, stubborn.. I know you must be shocked... It took me a few days, but I let it go.

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