As most of you know, The Man works out of the country for a month and is home a month. He made it home right before and I do mean RIGHT before the holidays began. He left this morning. He did the things that matter before he left.
1. He held me tight and told me that he loved me most.
2. We talked about expectations (I do better KNOWING)
3. He loved me well.
4. This morning, before he left, he gave me the shirt he had worn for a few hours yesterday that smells like him...
During this month, I learned that it's okay to totally take the back seat so I can grieve. In taking the back seat, I watched The Man, speak to my father about something that was very hurtful to me over the holidays.
I watched him look after me, take 100% responsibility for our sons. I watched him go with our daughter for out patient surgery.
I watched him approach a new situation with confidence and calm control and it melted me like a puddle.
I stepped outside of the box, and advocated for The Man with the doctor. You see, he is brilliant, My Man. His brain is an amazing thing to watch. He also struggles with ADHD, so very badly. To the point it robs him of his self esteem and I can't stand that. So.... this time, when it was time for refills on his meds, we went together, and I explained what I saw, I want relief for my Hero, my Lover, my Friend. I want him to know how awesome he is.
I might should have spoken with him beforehand, but it is such an embarrassment to him, that I didn't want to make things worse. So, I jumped in. The doc is making some changes for meds when home.
The Man is embarking on gluten free with me. He doesn't have to, but he won't eat things in front of me that I can't have and love. Now, it just doesn't get much better than that.
There were only good girl spankings this time, and they were well... VERY Good....