It has been a scary 8 weeks. When I had food poisoning, the hospital did a CT scan with dye contrast and found cysts on my ovaries with what looked like calcified fingers(which is indicative of possible cancer). I went to the doctor yesterday and got a clean bill of health. What they had seen was scar tissue from a previous procedure. Considering the history of ovarian cancer in my family, I was very concerned. To say it was a huge relief is like the understatement of the century.
I know here in blogland, we often talk about spanking, whether it's discipline, punishment, relief, reset, reconnection, fun, erotic, good girl.... You get the idea. I want to share something a bit different today.
I was very stressed the day before the doctor's appointment. The Man could not go with me. Our youngest had an awards program at school and Daddy needed to be there. I was so anxiety ridden. I knew I was headed toward a spanking. I know that in the past they have helped reducing the level of stress. I also knew that I was afraid and knew in my heart I was not going to willingly submit to one. I reached out to a friend who suggested I ask The Man to just use his hand. I explained I felt that it was either going to be a stress relief spanking or a discipline one because I was spinning. We both agreed that the former was MUCH better than the latter..
I came home and went to the gym for a pretty intense work out. When I got out of the gym, I had instructions to order to pizza to feed the masses and come home. I brought the pizza home, ate and was instructed to go take a hot shower. I thought "Oh Man, this is gonna hurt after a hot shower." The Man kept me company, talking to me and when I got out of the shower said, "Now, get yourself in bed and take your medicine for sleep. I will be there in a few to snuggle."
It's not always about the spanking. It's about knowing what your mate needs. I needed to reduce the anxiety. Sometimes I long to be spanked, need it, want it, ask for it and expect it. This was not one of those times. I needed the anxiety lessened. I just wasn't sure how that was going to happen. I expected to be spanked, he had said that he would. Yet, after the work out, he looked into my eyes and saw my heart and decided to go in a different direction.
It was a really big learning moment for me. It's not always about being spanked.