My heart is heavy for you tonight. I heard your voice tonight on the phone and it pressed my heart to hear the need for me. I am so glad that we are at a place that when you need solace, when your heart is hurting, when your soul needs soothed, it is me you come to, confident that my love will do just that.
I am so very proud of you. I can't say you've become, you have always been. Your confidence, your leadership, your integrity, your comfort and compassion, it has always been there. You are like the piece of wood that a carver looks at and doesn't see the block of wood but what is inside waiting to be unveiled.
You so often say that you wish that I could see myself how you do. Well, I am going to give you (and blogland) a glimpse of what I see when I look at you my heart. You are a man of honor. A lesser man would have not seen the situation last night and made it right. Yet, you were not willing to allow others to take responsibility for a decision that you made even if that decision hurt someone that you love. Even as my heart hurt for you, I was so very proud of you.
You took your responsibility as my husband to heart when you chose me above all others including your family. I never, ever wanted it to be that way. I cherish that your need to protect me, us, our children and family came first with you. I know that it was not without great price to you and I wish more than you know that I could fix it or ease your burden.
You have seen me through two surgeries and some pretty serious illness and you have taken care of me. It was so humbling the first time you washed my hair because I couldn't or when you put your arms around me and picked me up when I couldn't get out of the chair alone. You never made me feel a burden, you never made me feel embarrassed and I don't think I have ever felt so cherished and protected. (although, I don't think it was necessary for you to sick my mom on me to be sure I stayed put while you were gone to get the kids...)
A lesser man wouldn't have taken on kids who were old enough to resent another man in their Mother's life. A lesser man wouldn't have loved them when they were NOT lovely. A lesser man would not have sacrificed a new garage, new car, new tools, vacations or whatever else could have been spent on the thousands of dollars you and your job provided for our daughters (yeah she's yours all the way- after all YOU got the Daddy dance at her wedding) therapy. When I bemoaned the money or tried to say thank you, all you ever said was, "It's an investment in my daughter."
Your love for me and us was important enough that you stepped out of your comfort zone to spank me. I remember the first time you spanked me for discipline. I laid my head on your chest and your heart was beating harder than mine. That is when I knew I could trust you with my bottom as well as my heart. (We won't talk about the fact that you took spanking like a duck to water)
You are the most generous man I know. If you can help someone you do. If you can fix it for them you do. We could have probably had several new cars with the money you have generously given to others. Never have I said my parents need, that you have not said, "Of course they do, go ahead." Not to mention, the most precious gift you gave me which is my two youngest sons. I love you Man of Mine. You are the most amazing husband, and daddy I have ever known. I just wanted you to know that I see that it's not easy being the Boss.
Your Little Girl..