It's a decision. It's not a decision for everyone, I understand that, but for me it is. I must decide it's time. It's time to stop brooding. It's time to forge ahead. It's time to take that first step. It's time to do the first thing. Other things will follow.
It is time to make the decision that this isn't going to fix itself. My house isn't going to clean itself. Yes, I am overwhelmed. I must for the moment stop looking at the big picture. I must do that first ONE thing. Yes, I have a list of "to do" that is a mile long. However, I am only going to get there by beginning with that first one thing.
It is a vicious cycle. I am anxiety ridden and muddled in depression because my house it in disarray. YOU can always tell how I feel inside if my house is upside down. Well, I said to my Dad, "Dad, I have to do something cause it looks like someone robbed the place, ransacked but couldn't find anything to steal." He laughed and I chuckled, but Lord it's true. My house is in disarray due to anxiety and depression. We all know the ONLY way to get off of the Merry Go Round is to step off, and sometimes you don't get to stop the round and round before you take the leap.
Today is the first day I have had time and the ability to do something, so I am writing this in hopes that if I write it, I will feel some accountability. I want you guys to ask me what I got done. It's important to ask for help when you need it, and well I just need the extra push.
This time with The Man gone has been especially hard. Between my job and his, we have not been able to talk as we normally do. I am floundering. Time to decide. Wish me luck. Thanks for being my accountability buddies today!!!