Tomorrow I say good bye to a certain part of my life. It has been a right of passage, it has been an embarassment at times, it has been painful at times, and three times, it's absence meant I was a mommy (yes, I still count my angel in heaven that only knew me from the inside).
I am having a "procedure" tomorrow. After tomorrow, I will no longer have "the curse", at the most, a very, very light version of it. As many times as I have complained, moaned and sometimes just laid in agony with either a migraine or cramps so bad I was in a sweat, it's hard.
You see, part of being a woman, in my heart, part of my reason for being is to bring life into this world, and I'm losing that part. It's part of life, I'm just doing it early. I am almost 46 and I am past needing to have a baby at this point in my life, but oh how I longed to have a baby with The Man. We are a blended family and they are all ours. But I so longed to have a baby with a man who truly loved me, and cherished me. To make a baby between two people who loved one another and another human being came from that. You see, I love my children. I loved their father, but he did not love me.
I am being melancholy I know. There are many, many positives, and yet there is a part of me that is very sad. If I can't post tomorrow, I may ask The Man to post, to at least let my blog buddies know I am ok. My heart is really struggling with this.