Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Who woulda thunk it...

Tomorrow I say good bye to a certain part of my life.  It has been a right of passage, it has been an embarassment at times, it has been painful at times, and three times, it's absence meant I was a mommy (yes, I still count my angel in heaven that only knew me from the inside). 

I am having a "procedure" tomorrow.  After tomorrow, I will no longer have "the curse", at the most, a very, very light version of it.  As many times as I have complained, moaned and sometimes just laid in agony with either a migraine or cramps so bad I was in a sweat, it's hard. 

You see, part of being a woman, in my heart, part of my reason for being is to bring life into this world, and I'm losing that part.  It's part of life, I'm just doing it early.  I am almost 46 and I am past needing to have a baby at this point in my life, but oh how I longed to have a baby with The Man.  We are a blended family and they are all ours.  But I so longed to have a baby with a man who truly loved me, and cherished me.  To make a baby between two people who loved one another and another human being came from that.  You see, I love my children.  I loved their father, but he did not love me.

I am being melancholy I know.  There are many, many positives, and yet there is a part of me that is very sad.  If I can't post tomorrow, I may ask The Man to post, to at least let my blog buddies know I am ok.  My heart is really struggling with this. 

14 comments:

  1. {{{HUGS}}} Will be sending a prayer for you. I think it's only natural to be melancholy. You're giving up something that has been a dream. Even though much good will come from this, giving up dreams is so very, VERY hard. {{{HUGS}}} Let yourself have a cry or ten if you need. Knowing your Man is there to love you through it. :)

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  2. It is incredibly natural and perfectly all right to feel melancholy. Hugs and good thoughts to you.

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  3. Hugs to you!
    (((((((((Dana)))))))))

    ~fiona

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  4. Sending healing energy and prayers Dana! If you can't blog, please have the Man do so. You know I have been through the same thing so call me if you need to talk. If the Man can't call me...can he text me...just to let me know you're ok?

    Hugs, Love and Blessings,
    Cat

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  5. I'll be thinking of you! (Hugsss)

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  6. You are an incredibly brave woman. I wish you all the best for tomorrow. I will be thinking of you.

    Callie

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  7. Thanks guys.. I a headed to the hospital now.. I will ask The Man to post. Thanks for just being here..

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  8. I will be praying that God will bless you with quick healing, pain relief, and stable hormones. -Belle L.

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  9. You will be in my thoughts today.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  10. I'll be praying for you today Dana.

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  11. (((hugs))) & prayers for you Dana

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  12. Sending positive thoughts your way Dana! ((hugs))

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  13. (((hugs))) Dana - I'm sorry - I'm so behind! Sending love and prayers.

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