Saturday, January 5, 2013

We've come a long way Baby...

So, it's been awhile since I posted.  I'm sorry bout that.  Things have kinda been crazy.  During the holiday season, The Man was kind enough to drive me around to do the things I needed done because I was sick like a dog...  While driving, after dark, we had an encounter with a suicidal racoon that was as big as a dog (his story.. I'm sticking to it...)  It did some SERIOUS damage to our little Focus so, he determined it was time for a new car.

He did all the work!!  He got the loan, found the car I wanted and arranged for us to go get it.  Well, in the fray of doing all of the paperwork beforehand, he scanned his driver's license and forgot them on the scanner.  Well, where we got the car was about 45 minutes from our house.  You guessed it, he didn't realize it till we were there to purchase the car. 

Now, I am ashamed and embarassed to say that in times past, this would have sent me over the roof.  At a minimum, I would have been sarcastic and belittled him.  You see, my Big Guy, has ADD.  He is a hard worker and I love him for it, but organization is something he struggles with.  It was obvious that he was embarassed and upset that he was putting us out.  We had to drive back and get it in order to get the car.  On top of it, our son was with us. 

Was it aggravating?  Yeah, it was late a night and we were at a deadline before they closed.  I looked at his face, and took a deep breath and was able to step back, and realize all the important things.

1.  He worked so hard to get everything together to purchase this car for me.
2.  It was so important to him that we get something I liked and would feel good about.
3.  In the grand scheme of things, it was an extra hour and a half of time we had together in the car.
4.  I was able to show my son that I respected and love his dad and how to smooth these kind of situations over.

I am very proud of my man.  He has stepped up and expected my respect and made it easy to do so by his treatment and love for me.  I am also proud that I am able to say, that I simply told him it was nothing but a thing and I was very sorry that it had made him feel bad.  Even our son got into the groove of things and told him that these things happen not to worry about it.

We have come so far.  2 years ago, I would have been an ungrateful witch in the face of the aggravation and made him feel bad.  He would have taken in, and we would have had a cold war for days.  Not this time.. so.....  WE have come a long way BABY....

OH.. and this is what I got.. This one is for you ROGUE!!!

You guessed it!!!!!  It's a Nissan ROGUE.....


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks Blue... I love the car, and The Man..

  2. Happy Dance for you and your new car! So proud of how you responded to the Man - you showed him respect and support as well as set a lovely example for your son. You've both come a long way and have a stronger marriage to show for it!


    1. Thanks my friend. it is definitely a work in progress

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  4. So glad to read this.

    (I deleted my comment because it was not complete, this is a second attempt. I wish blogger allowed editing of your own comments.)

    I have never thought of myself as having ADD, but I do just the kind of thing your husband did. I have several times reached the cash desk in the supermarket and found I had no money with me (they don't accept credit cards.) It's embarrassing.

    I'm hopeless at organising anything. I once found myself on a committee running an organisation for brilliant children, and my job was to organise monthly trips. I really felt I didn't deserve to have a brilliant child as I was so inept. I hated the job anyway, and found it very difficult. It's not the first time I have found myself in a job that needs organising skills and failed hopelessly - I just don't have the ability or even the inclination. You know the saying, "couldn't organise a Sunday School picnic"? That's me. The details just leave my mind when I'm not thinking about them.

    Are these the symptoms of ADD? If so, it's lucky I don't believe in this obsessive and misleading classification of common characteristics!

    Fortunately, my wife is a Filipina and one of the most tolerant of that tolerant people. No matter how many times I forget (or omit) to shut the screen door after me (keeps out the mosquitoes) she just gets up and quietly shuts it. She doesn't get mad at me. I think for her it's just something she finds she has to do, if she wants it done - like opening an umbrella when it rains. She will tell me how many mosquitoes she has caught inside the house, later in the evening, as though it's just a matter of interest to everyone; but not with malice!

    1. It can be.. where his really tells on him is he normally has about 5 projects running at once and can't finish them.. he's hopping from one to the other. It's a lack of focus.

  5. Wow, your car is beautiful and your husband is wonderful for working it all out. YEA you guys for finding a different way to work together!!! Congrats!!! (and what a great model for your child!)

    1. It has been a tough road in spots, and yeah. She's a real beauty. We are growing. it's been an awesome road!!

  6. Congratulations Dana...on both the new car and handling yourself so well. It is so easy to snap at stuff like that and realizing that all it comes down to is a couple hours sure does help. Good for you.

    I've met some of those larger than life racoons...they really do exist.

  7. How wonderful on the new outlook and the new car! Sounds like a great way to go all around.

    I know what you mean about the ADD - I always have like 6 things going at once and am amazed when I finish one of them :)

  8. It is so nice to read how ttwd has truly changed your marriage for the better. You should be proud of all your progress. Beautiful new car. Enjoy it.