Change... there are all kinds of change. The seasons change (if you are lucky enough to live somewhere that you have all fours seasons and a blur of temperatures). Times change for example women weren't allowed to vote and now they are. Style changes (and not always for the good). A perfect example of this is spandex...
Feelings change and like everything else this can be a good thing or a bad thing. Thoughts change and attitudes change. For those of us living this lifestyle this can come from strong healthy leadership and a paddle... Rules change and if you are a thriving couple in TTWD, that is a good thing. Whether you as a couple have accomplished a rule and can lay it to rest, or we decide together to work on a new area.
I am not a huge fan of change. I have the same routine that I had as a 13 year old teenager to get ready in the morning. To ask me to "change" that routine is a promise of having to start over from the beginning. I take the same route home everyday, I have my own parking space at home, and I go into my home with the same door. I guess you could say I am a creature of habit.
So, The Man has an opportunity for a job that will mean some pretty big "changes" for us the first two years, but will be an awesome opportunity in the long run. I am like the little child who refuses to let go of the penny in her hand for the promise of a dime that someone would give. The Man, he takes chances. Not dangerous ones, not where our family is concerned but is much more adventurous than me. Now, were that not true, he would not have the job he has that he loves and provides very well for us.
This is a challenge for me. We have talked about me leaving my job. This new position will mean less salary for 2 years. Nothing that will break us by any means. But, Change is scarey. My immediate answer to this is to way to quit. I have the plan don't you see? I can.. I can.... Well, that isn't how it's supposed to be anymore. I know it, you know it, he knows it... I think even the DOG knows it...
Today it dawned me why I don't like change. As a child, I never knew which mother I was going to have. The fun one, the happy one, the catatonic one, the manic one, the depressed one.. you get the picture. So, I learned to create my own security in a very uncertain world. Security for me became the same. The same routine, the same reactions, the same place for things. But if there is no change, things become stagnant.
I know that The Man would pass this opportunity up if he believed it was going to be more than I could handle. I don't want that. He has grown, he is loving, he is kind, he is honorable and is very vested in protecting his family. So, I am trying to "change" and learn to lean on him when things are uncertain. I love this Man of Mine. I want only good things for him. I trust him with my body and my heart, and I am learning to trust him with our lives.