Sunday, October 28, 2012

You Say Tomato....

The Man and I haven't been an active part of this world we find ourselves in for long, at least not publically.  We are by nature very private people.  We had been learning to walk out this lifestyle for a while before we sought like minds on the net.  The Man actually found initially sites, (My Bottom Smarts- thanks Bonnie and Learning Domestic Discipline- Thanks Clint and Chelsea).  From there, I found others- Red Booty Woman and Sheltered in a Storm. (Thanks both of you for your kindness and openess).

Many of us come to this life from very different walks of life, from different places.  For example, just to name a few:

  • Some have marriages or relationships that were DD from the very beginning and know no other way.
  • Some enjoy erotic spanking and "kinky" sex along with having discipline in their relationship
  • Some have always been submissive to their husbands but are just now incorporating discipline
  • Some find NO sexual enjoyment from spanking or being disciplined
  • Some started with a BDSM flavor and incorporated a more traditional relationship with the man being dominant and taking responsibility for leading the relationship
  • Some women stumble on to the sites we all frequent to share their sorrow and pain from being abused and find that this lifestyle is not about being a door mat
The list goes on an on.  One thing that I find is a common thread is respect.  Relationships are based on respect.  So, if we have entered into a lifestyle where respect, care, communication, and protection are the foundation, I wonder why we in the community can't treat one another with the same attitude...  RESPECT.   Just as in my relationship with The Man, I don't always agree with him, but I always respect him.  I am disciplined if I do not respectfully communicate with him. 

Unfortunately, I am afraid that the anonynimity of being behind a screen gives the impression that we have the right to be unkind, cruel or disrespectful.  For example, if one chooses to become a member of a social network whose main focus is a DD relationship, that is where it should remain.  For exammple of you have joined the network of LDD and you are also heavily into BDSM, (which is ok and so not the point) I feel that you should focus on the DD part of your relationship.  In other words, you should never make others feel uncomfortable in the LDD  network with your BDSM flavor.  And the reverse is true for others who only practice DD to do the same at a BDSM site.

There is lots of information out here.  We all have opinions and insight.  Instead of slinging mud or usurping others good works, or pointing fingers, placing blame or in my mother's words, "Stirring the POT", we should practice with others what we have agreed to with our mates.  RESPECT.  I don't have to agree with everything you say to respect you and find merit in things that fit my life and help me through difficult times.  TTWD is hard enough, isolating enough without us isolating one another.  And in the vein of this post, my opinion and a buck will buy you a cheap cup of Java SOMEWHERE...  I just want t say that I appreciate everyone who has been such an encouragment  to me and have been so open and honest and helped me not to feel so alone.


  1. Thank you, Dana. I completely agree.

    I believe there is no single "right way" to express our love, except perhaps in the context of one couple.

    Life is easier and better when we celebrate how we are alike rather than argue about how we are different.


    1. Bonnie,

      Exactly!! This life can be tough enough. No need to alienate anyone..

  2. Dana, I agree with you 100%. It is all about respect.

  3. Very well said Dana and I totally agree with you. Standing ovation!!!!


    1. Thanks Cat, that means alot coming from you!!

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