This is not easy for me, and it's not easy for him. The Man does NOT like to spank me, or discipline me. I have promised to be honest and that means he will have to. I'm human and well I like cookies...
I thought about it and prayed about it and this is what I sent The Man today. I am putting it here so that IF (never not me) I should ever whine and complain, you all can remind me of what I promised, of my OWN free will.
Upon thinking and reflecting about what I want from this journey, I have come to the following conclusions:
1. My body was wonderfully designed by God, and it is not right for me to treat it disrespectfully.
2. I have committed to not damage our relationship. When I don’t eat right, it causes problems for us in the areas of intimacy, and my ability to thrive in our relationship.
3. When I choose not to eat right, I am a poor example for our children.
4. When I choose to not take care of my health, I am breaking the rule of not exercising dangerous behavior, as it leads to health problems.
5. I understand that my need to find comfort in food is a form of distancing from you. I should turn to you for comfort, not destructive behaviors that make me feel bad about myself and defeats my goals.
That being said, I promise the following:
1. To keep my daily food log.
2. To exercise 5 days a week.
3. To work on the things emotionally that causes me to want to eat.
4. To be honest with you in my food log and exercise log, even if it means punishment.
5. I will accept your discipline with the understanding it wipes the slate clean and every day is a new day.
6. I will find ways to be good to myself and strive to become acceptable to myself.
I am asking you to:
1. Be consistent. Help me be consistent. I need your strength to hold me accountable.
2. I need you to love me enough to discipline me. This is nothing you are doing to me. You are helping me in a way that I am asking you to for my own sake.
3. Help me to keep on my schedule even when you are home.
I love you so very much for loving me enough to walk this journey with me.
So, as you can see, it's all or nothing. Wish me luck, and pray the CEO at McDonald's doesn't here about this...