Saturday, August 18, 2012

Submissive does NOT mean door mat...

Let me start this by saying...  The Man is Home!!! WooHoo.  He is sleeping peacefully by my side as we are having nap time...But I digress...

Yesterday, after driving like a crazy woman to the airport to get him so that I could get him to the dentist to take care of this tooth.  Well, let me preface that.  I got my feelings hurt by something he said, and commenced the silent treatment.  I had resolved NOT to cause a scene, so to me the only option left was the silent treatment.  Yeah, so I apologized, said I didn't handle it well, and explained why my feelings were hurt.  He held me said sorry, accepted my apology and off we went to the dentist.

Now, my understanding was, that they were going to FIX his tooth and therefore, put him out of his misery.  I had a very REAL vested interest in my Man not being in pain, as I can't stand it when he is hurting.  I dropped him off, stating to the receptionist, I will be back WHEN  you fix his tooth.  She looked a little nervous, and said, we'll call at which time, I explained to her, politely (no fit) but firmly that MY understanding was WHEN I made this appointment that they understood they needed to do something TODAY to alleviate his suffering and THAT is what I expected.  I smiled and left.

Well, apparently, I made an impression.  When Michael called me, I had barely sat down with my friend for lunch saying he would explain when he got there.  I said, "Babe, how are you getting here?  I'll be right there to pick you up."  To which he said, "No Worries Hon, the receptionist is bringing me to you."  Apparently the infection under his tooth was so great, that he needs another round of antibiotics before they can deal with said tooth.  Also, apparently the receptionist reminded Michael 3 times to explain to me there was nothing they could safely do today and if there was they would have gladly done it.

Flash forward.  I had an appointment with a personal trainer for an assessment.  I made the appointment for 4pm.  They scheduled it at 4:30.  The trainer was rude, they let me wait, and so, I walked out, only to find my husband had left.  So, after my GRAND exit, I walked back in and told them that if the big guy with a beard and cookie monster shirt came in looking for his wife, please tell him I was across the street.  Now, in days past, I would have thrown a fit at him for NOT being where I left him.  Yes, I was angry that they screwed up the appointment and then were rude to me.  Yes, I let them know that, but no, I didn't take it out on him.

Flash forward,  "Babe, I'm gonna take care of you."  Hence the slightly sore bottom and much more settled emotions and reconnection with my husband.  AND the warm fuzzy feeling that I don't have to be a door mat and still know he's the big guy...

8 comments:

  1. Dana, I am so glad you are feeling more settled. Hopefully the tooth gets fixed soon. He must be in a lot of pain. And thank you for clarifying that being submissive does NOT mean being a door mat. Enjoy your time together.

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  2. Doing my happy dance for you Dana! Hope the Man's infection gets under control soon so that they can fix the tooth.

    Thanks for the post - so totally agree - I am definitely not a doormat and neither are any other women that I know in DD relationships. ;)

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  3. Woo-hoo! So glad to hear that he's home. Sorry about the tooth though. Hopefully soon it will be a fading memory. If submissive meant doormat, well, then I would NOT be interested, and actually, Michael wouldn't want me to be interested either. Enjoy the time with your hubby! :)

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    1. I know right. I am so happy, just listeniing to him sleep. Yeah, I'm not interested in being a door mat either...

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  4. I think of myself more as obedient to Jim than submissive to him, but they are really 2 sides of the same coin. Definitely not a door mat. You always have a voice in DD, never forget that! I'm glad he's home safely and you're having together time again! You're both so strong to go such long periods without eachother!

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    1. I think submission means different things to different people. I think our understanding of our roles in our respective marriages are much the same, but being raised in the south and the bible belt to boot (hey, that's pretty cool alliteration there..) Submissive is the word I was raised with. A rose by any other name... And yes, it's awesome to have him home.

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