Friday, July 27, 2012

TTWD and Vacationland

You are all wondering aren't you?  I know you are.  You are wondering what I did to get spanked on vacation.  Well, I didn't do anything, but ask for it.  I know this sounds strange to many, not so strange to some and downright curious to others.

You see, spanking is often a huge stress relief for me.  It's how I'm wired.  I am also very aware that it's the emotional and mental difference between a "maintenance or stress relief spanking" and a "punishment" is huge for me.  Punishment is so very stressful for me because I am a pleaser at heart and to disappoint him and myself is often crushing to me.  There is also the natural fear of him being angry (this is all on me, he has NEVER done anything to cause me to fear him).  But a relief spanking now that is very different, and often much harder and longer, as my mind is in another space and I crave the release.

That being said, I have a pleasantly sore bottom, and slept like a baby last night.  Well, until The Man woke up with a terrible tooth ache.  That is taken care of and we are going to see a dentist in a little bit.  This is the first trip we have taken truly under TTWD as a full time lifestyle.  It has been good in places, very good in places, and a struggle in others.  You see, I don't fly well.  I am really REALLY convinced if God had meant me to fly, He would have given me wings.  So, I'm nervous, tired, anxious (read cranky here) and I get motion sick.  I am proud to say, we made it with little to no incident.  Once we finally got to the rental car (read huge aggravation on my part) and were in it, and the last person stopped us, I said under my breath,  "OH for Gods sake I am trying REALLY hard not to embarass my husband and behave myself and could you people help me out just a little?"  The Man, looked so serious and said, "What can I do to help, cause you are doing a great job this time."  Yea, made it ALL worth it.  I shut my mouth and leaned back.

Please, PLEASE, keep my in your thoughts this evening.  We are going to have dinner with folks from his family.  There is a huge breach here.  His parents hate me.  Whereas we are not having dinner with them, his mother in particular has made it very clear to the entire family what a horrible person I am, (via Email, I received a copy of it).  I want to be the perfect spouse for The Man.  I want to do him proud.  However, I feel like I am at a serious deficit.  The Man tries very hard to build me up to them at every chance, I am embarassed by what she has done and feel like there is nothing I can do to make it better.  Let me be clear, The Man does not care what they think, and have made it clear that I am his wife.  I however hate feeling like I am the cause of the loss of his family.  I would hate that as I love my family very much.

On a happier note, we are going to the Zoo how cool is that?

9 comments:

  1. Prayers are with you sweetie. Here's my motto for you to borrow: "Those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind." In other words, as long as The Man is happy with you, that's all that matters! Really don't think you are the cause of The Man losing a relationship with his family. Nah - bet you could be any other woman and his mother would have the same reaction. Her problem, not yours!

    Hope you have an awesome time at the Zoo!

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    1. Thanks, dinner went well with his family. There was no mention of his parents. I wish there was a way to fix things with his folks, but I can't take their interferance in our marriage.

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  2. So that is where you are! I was wondering :) I hope all goes well and that you enjoy the Zoo :)

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    1. We are headed to the zoo tomorrow. That is my treat for being good.

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  3. mmmm it sounds like hubby and I but in revercs, my pairents see him as the spawn of ther devil, as they found out about our DD lifestyle, now they think my husband is a wife beater!!!!! no talking to them will convince them other wize. my heart and thoughts are with you! but yes enjoy the zoooooo. and have an ice cream for us lool

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    1. I am sorry to hear that. I know how tough it has been here and how hurtful for both of us. Me because I feel like I have been the cause of a terrible family breech and him because of their behavior and him having to choose to walk away from them. The zoo is tomorrow and yeah.. The big Guy and I had ice cream... I love, LOVE vacation...

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  4. It's selfish behaviour of your mother in law to treat you that way; she's losing out on precious time with her own child. One day she's going to regret that loss and it might be too late to find the time again. I guess all you can do is to keep trying to support a reconnection, but accept that may not happen. Hold your head high because how on earth anyone could hate you is totally beyond me!

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    1. Thanks so much and I agree. Mainly, I don't want my husband whom I love to look back and regret that he walked away from them. And as to the main issue, it went something like this. "No, I don't want your money, and I certainly don't want it if it comes with the strings that you have the right to interfere in our marriage and call the shots." Did I mention I'm pretty independent and raised my two older kids by myself?

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  5. What a stuff of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious know-how about unexpected emotions.



    My blog post: travel immunizations

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