Tuesday, July 10, 2012

DragonSlayer got singed

I am many things.  At work, I am affectionately called, "The Dragon Slayer".  You see, I work with hurting families, who often need an advocate to help them find their own way back to themselves.  The first priority is the safety of children.  I believe in what I do, am passionate about family and kids, all kids.  Well today, in court I got my wings singed.

I am fiery.  I have a strong personality.  I have like zero tolerance for stupid.  I am tough, I am fair.  I can be sarcastic.  And underneath it all, I have a very tender heart.  My feelings are often easily hurt.  I care about what other people think of me (well not everyone).

Tonight, I am heart weary.  It was one of those days where kindness was mistaken as weakness, compassion as apathy, and mercy for incompetence.  I know it's part of the job to be ridiculed.  I know there are times when the only argument the other side has is to take pot shots at me.  Normally, I take this in stride.  However, at times when my heart has gone out to the parents and I have tried my best to be merciful, compassionate, kind, and even made allowances for behavior, it's tough to be railroaded.   so I withdraw.  I hide behind walls.  I get prickly.  If I didn't love my dog, I'd kick the dog.  I don't like having my feelings hurt.  I don't like knowing that they can BE hurt.

I miss the man.  It's days like today it would end one of two ways.  I would either loose my cookies and end up with a very red bottom, or snuggled in his lap.  I'd like both of those today.  It's been a pretty rotten day today.  Tomorrow, is a new day.

5 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you were treated like that and don't have a red bottom or lap to snuggle in.

    I'm known as "THE ENFORCER" in my family. They have been known to sic me on anyone that has hurt them. You are now officially adopted so - point me at them - GRRRR.

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  2. Take care and I hope tomorrow will be a better day!
    (sorry it was a rough day).

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    1. Thanks. I just hate it when I manage to get my feelings hurt. I shouldn't let it get to me.

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  3. Someone in my family was a CASA worker. She told me a judge said, "The best thing we can do for these kids is fix the parents, but sometimes the parents just refuse to be fixed." There are so many children in need of advocates, and so few people to help. I know that if you work in that world, you know real joy and deep pain. I hope that that you get more joyous days, and less painful ones. May God give you strength and all you need, and may he bless you richly for what you do, Belle L.

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