I am many things. At work, I am affectionately called, "The Dragon Slayer". You see, I work with hurting families, who often need an advocate to help them find their own way back to themselves. The first priority is the safety of children. I believe in what I do, am passionate about family and kids, all kids. Well today, in court I got my wings singed.
I am fiery. I have a strong personality. I have like zero tolerance for stupid. I am tough, I am fair. I can be sarcastic. And underneath it all, I have a very tender heart. My feelings are often easily hurt. I care about what other people think of me (well not everyone).
Tonight, I am heart weary. It was one of those days where kindness was mistaken as weakness, compassion as apathy, and mercy for incompetence. I know it's part of the job to be ridiculed. I know there are times when the only argument the other side has is to take pot shots at me. Normally, I take this in stride. However, at times when my heart has gone out to the parents and I have tried my best to be merciful, compassionate, kind, and even made allowances for behavior, it's tough to be railroaded. so I withdraw. I hide behind walls. I get prickly. If I didn't love my dog, I'd kick the dog. I don't like having my feelings hurt. I don't like knowing that they can BE hurt.
I miss the man. It's days like today it would end one of two ways. I would either loose my cookies and end up with a very red bottom, or snuggled in his lap. I'd like both of those today. It's been a pretty rotten day today. Tomorrow, is a new day.