Thursday, June 21, 2012

What I don't want...

It's tough when there are moments that your life feels like the Facebook status, "it's complicated".    I am a helper by nature.  I "fix" things.  It's what I do, how I'm made.  It is hard when you realize, there are some things you just can't fix.

I am the daughter of a burly man of irish descent and a mother who, God love her, struggles with bipolar.  It is hard when you have to say to a parent, the other isn't all good, or all bad, but still my parent.  Which leads me to what I don't want.  I don't want to look back on my life and feel that my life has been a waste, that the only good thing from my marriage is my childen.  I don't want to confide in one of my children that I grieve daily that I wasted my life.

I don't ever want my kids to wonder how they can make things better.  I don't ever want them to wonder WHY we got married or feel like they ruined my life, just by being.  Or that I gave up my life because of them.  Or that they are the reason I lived a life of misery.

I don't want my children to ever wonder how the two people you love most in the world and are so good to you are so bad to one another.  I don't ever want my children to feel desperate to make me stop crying or how to intervene.  I don't ever want my kids to wonder how to be there for both their parents without taking sides..  What I really don't want, is for my children to ever feel this sad for two people they love.



  1. Those are important goals that will likely help to keep your marriage on track! Welcome to blogging! Sara

  2. Sara,

    Yes, I totally agree. The reason behind this post is alot of why I am so sold on TTWD. It has made such a difference in our marriage and our life for us and our kids have reaped the benefit. I love my parents, I truly do, both of them. It hurts me so to see just what all they can do that is hurtful. Dana

  3. I wouldn't want those things for myself, my spouse or my children. I wouldn't say that we were headed in that direction exactly, but doing ttwd has made a huge difference in our marriage and has had a big impact on Michael and I as individuals as well. And it most certainly has had a positive impact on our children. :)